Traditions

This year, for the first time in my adult life, I am not going to spend Christmas Eve with my entire family...brothers, sister-in-laws et al.  My mother passed away almost 3 years ago and my 3 brothers feared that her absence would mark the end of our family tradition of getting together every Christmas Eve.  That tradition has been hard for our children as they have formed their own families and have their in-laws traditions to accomodate.  But, we have still gotten together every year with the kids making it every other year.  One brother has not made the last couple of years due to his health, but that is understood.  I love my family and look so  forward to decorating the house and cooking for all of them.  However, it has gotten hard as our family has grown and my job and life have become more demanding.  The last few years I have been so exhausted I have found it hard to enjoy talking to everyone.  So, this year when Shannon suggested we break with tradition and go to Colorado to meet Josh and his family halfway, it appealed to me.  We skiied every year for years but Mark and I have not been skiing for 15? years?  Long enough, I'm more afraid of breaking my hip now than blowing a knee:)  Anyway, one of my brothers called last night after he had had a conversation with another brother.    The conversation went downhill after I told him we were considering doing something different for Christmas this year so we could see our Montana kids.  He said we might as well "go to F.....ing Sizzlin' Sirloin!".  Then he hung up.  This leaves me with wondering if it is the loss of turkey or the loss of family time that is the problem.  ?  Is tradition turkey or is it being with your kids and your grandkids?  I don't think I am picking favorites, but I do love my kids and have not seen my Montana kids since last Christmas.  Am I being selfish because I am choosing to not cook a huge dinner for a few here rather than probably have something pretty simple in a cabin in Colorado?  I do have a sense of not knowing what to do with my house because I normally go nuts decorating.  Anyway, today, I did it.  I booked a condo in Winter Park for 4 nights..over Christmas Eve.  I intend to cook a big dinner next year with my overly decorated house up to it's usual level, .  Hopefully, all the kids and their kids can make the trip to keep our family tradition alive...just on a new every other year schedule.    At this moment, I'm wondering what the appropriate next step is.  Do I call everyone and say "guess what...new tradition, every other year at Aunt Karen's".  Or, let the news seep out to this brother that will probably be mad at me for quite some time because I broke with this tradition?  I can't make everyone happy and I wish it felt better to me that, for this year, I have stopped trying.